


the kind of love I've been dreaming of

by Emieo



Series: heathen clung to the homily, ((kanan lives au)) [1]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Also ezra doesn't yeet himself into space., And kanans a great dad but hes had some experience, Baby Jacen, Ezras a great brother, Gen, Kanan Jarrus Lives, Kanan Lives AU, Kanan and Hera are tired parents, Parental Kanan Jarrus, Sighted Kanan Jarrus, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, only happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emieo/pseuds/Emieo
Summary: Kanan soaks it all in. The way Ezra holds Jacen to his chest, fingers sleepily running through the baby's hair without even realizing it. The soft snores that travel through the common room. Kanan smiles as he looks at the boys...His boys.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Jacen Syndulla, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus & Jacen Syndulla
Series: heathen clung to the homily, ((kanan lives au)) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884061
Comments: 23
Kudos: 113





	the kind of love I've been dreaming of

Quiet nights weren't a thing on the ghost. 

whether that be a certain Mandolorian building explosive in the middle of the Night or his Padawan Turing the lights on and off with the force in his sleep.  
Peace and quiet didn't truly exist. 

So when Kanan found himself waking up at a sane hour of the Morning he knew something was up.

These last few nights Jacen had been, restless, to say the least. Wailing at ungodly hours of lothal's night cycle. Frankly, he and Hera hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since the baby was born, But the constant energy the child seemed to have during the night was practically torture. 

He and Hera had mostly been taking turns calming their son. Though Kanan would coax her back to sleep as much as he could, seeing how hard her position as general was weighing on her, especially now with an infant to take care of. 

When Kanan had woke that morning, no baby droll on his chest or aching bones from sleeping in the small rocking chair in the nursery, he immediately sprang out of bed. If something happened during the night that he somehow didn't hear, he needed to know. He looked beside him before he stood, taking in Hera sleeping form, her lekku draped over her shoulder. Kanan smiled, thinking about how a little over a year ago he wasn't able to see that beautiful face. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. 

He swings his legs over their shared bed as he made his way to the door. When he hits the panel and the door swings open, he reaches out to the force. He feels Jacen's signature, it's small, a spark of calm and innocents. He's asleep, Kanan let's out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Instinctively, Kanan reaches out to Ezra. He's asleep as well, it's not the fitful, anxiety-ridden slumber he's used to feeling from his Padawan, but a calm, happy flow he wishes he could feel all the time. 

Kanan approaches Jacen's nursery, his heart stops when he sees the crib empty, his chest tightens. Kanan turns, panic rising in his chest. He takes long strides down the hallway. Letting his legs mindless take him as his thoughts grew like wildfire. 

" _Where is he?, Did something happen?, Why isn't he in his crib?, His signature feels fine, is he hurt?, Did something happen and I didn't hear? is he-"_

Kanan stops as he reaches the common room, his legs stop trembling and his heart rate is back to normal. 

There in the booth sits Ezra, fast asleep, baggy pyjamas hanging off his frame and long hair draped across his forehead. Jacen is held tightly in his arms, the baby swaddled in his favourite blanket, his small head rested on the boy's chest. 

Then suddenly Kanan's heart is tightening again. But this time it's not fear, it's love. 

Kanan soaks it all in. The way Ezra holds Jacen to his chest, fingers sleepily running through the baby's hair without even realizing it. The soft snores that travel through the common room. Kanan smiles as he looks at the boys...

His boys. 

This is one of those moments, he had been having them a lot in the last year. One of those moments where he thanked the force. Thanked it for letting him survive the purge, letting him meet Hera, having Ezra stumble into his life. He thanked the force for not Letting him die on that fule pod, for letting him hold his son for the first time, for letting him experience moments like These. 

He loves them, loves them both so much. It's the kind of love Kanan never thought was possible. It's deep, raw and beautiful

kanan's thoughts fade as he hears Ezra stir. The boy's eyes flutter as he shifts Jacen on his chest. His eyes look up to meet Kanan's. "Mornin'..." He says groggily. Kanan can't help but smile. He closes the gap between them. Sitting next to his Padawan in the booth. He reaches out and gently brushes Ezra's bangs from his face, moving up to run his figures through the boy's hair. "Morning kiddo." 

Ezra leans into the touch, giving Kanan a tired smile, he turns his attention towards his son. The baby is fast asleep, drolling on Ezra's chest. 

"I felt him waking up before he even started crying, I think I'm connecting to him better now." Ezra mindlessly shifts Jacen into a more comfortable position on his chest. Kanan smiles. "You've always been good with him, you knew Hera was pregnant before we even told you."

Kanan thinks back to that night and smiles to himself. Remembering a panicked Ezra ruining into their room in the middle of the night yelling something about how the force feels wrong and how Hera had to get to the med bay now, and ' _it might be a parasite Kanan!, Remember those parasites from sho'ta?, WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING THIS ISN'T FUNNY-'_

"This is something different Kanan, I almost feel like we're, I don't know, tied together in some way. It's like our bond, but smaller I guess, less powerful. But it's there, I can feel it."

Ezra moves to stroke his fingers through the baby's hair, a strong urge to protect the sleeping child running through his veins. Maybe This is the feeling Kanan had described to him so many times throughout the years, what a master would do for his Padawan. 

What a man would do for his family. 

"Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you form a bond with him before I do, he's already got you wrapped around his finger." Kanan laughs and Ezra rolls his eyes. "Hey, you say that like it's a bad thing." Kanan smiles once More, scooting closer to his Padawan, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, taking both his sons into his arms. Ezra leans his head against Kanan's shoulder, Jacen not once stirring from his spot on his chest.

"Thanks for taking care of him Tonight, kiddo, thought we'd never get a good night's sleep. Hopefully Hera stays knocked out for a few more hours, force knows she needs it." 

Ezra smiles. "No problem, though if I keep this up, I'm going to have to figure out my babysitting fee." He smirks and nudges Kanan. "I'm thinking 20 credits an hour, how does that sound?" He asks sarcastically.

Kanan laughs. "Hey, don't go running your poor old Master broke, commissioning Sabine to paint the nursery was already financially draining enough." Kanan jokes, thinking about when he gave her the credits, they somehow appeared back in his pockets the next day. 

Ezra let's out a laugh, his eyes creasing, Trying to calm down so that the baby doesn't wake from the shake of his chest. Kanan looks at him fondly, that feeling of love rising in his chest again as he pulls him closer. 

"You want me to take him?, You could go get some rest. I think he's had enough excitement for one night." Kanan moves his hand to stroke through Jacen's hair, the bright greens locks feeling soft against his father's calloused hands. Ezra shakes his head, shifting against Kanan's side so that he and Jacen are both closer to his chest. 

"No that's alright, I think I'd like to stay here for a while if that's alright with you?" Ezra asks, so innocently, as if he expects Kanan to reject him. Kanan gives a soft smile.

"Of course." 

So that's where they say for a while, Jacen resting against Ezra's chest and Ezra resting against Kanan's. A tight blanket of calm, warmth and affection surrounds them in the force. This is what Kanan wants to feel for the rest of his life. 

Ezra break's the silence, letting out a calm breath. "You're a good dad Kanan." he feels Kanan's force signature wrap around him and in turn Jacen's. 

Kanan let's out a small chuckle, holding Ezra closer. "Yeah, well, I've had some experience." He smiles down at his Padawan, how can he help it when the kid's smirk is so contagious?. 

Kanan feels the warmth of sunlight flood through the ghost from the open ramp. The sound of Loth-cats meowing in the distance tells him it must be morning. Sabine and Zeb would be coming home today, finally. Able to get break from working so hard on their respective homeworlds.

Hera was dragging them back, she says it's for rebellion reasons, but they all know it's because a Month without the whole family together is way too long for any of their likings. 

Having them all together also makes it easier for them to plan Ezra's nineteenth birthday celebration. It's his first Empire day without the Empire on Lothal, and they were all determined to make it his best yet. 

And they would, Kanan would make sure of it. Make sure they were all happy and safe. He would have to wake Hera up soon, He was already going get a lecture for letting her sleep in, but it was worth it. 

But For now, he would stay here, watch other Ezra as he fell back asleep, his son nestled safely in his Padawan's arms.

Because this is what the force kept him alive for, and he was going to soak up every second of it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!, this is my first ever published fanfic and I'm so happy to share it!. I've been wanting to write a one-shot of this for a while and I'm so happy to finally get it done lol. This is part of a bigger kanan!lives au, so get ready for more of those soon. 
> 
> I really just wanted to write some short fluff for this au, so what better then kanan and his sons lol.  
> 


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